


The Fabulous Four Present: How to be a Twink

by wandering_ravens



Category: Initial'L (Band), Jrock
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Yuuki, Comedy, Fairies, M/M, Oral Sex, Twinks are great, i wrote this at work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:15:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandering_ravens/pseuds/wandering_ravens
Summary: Yuuki is super gay, but for some reason, he keeps attracting girls. Fortunately or unfortunately, his wish to become more attractive to men is put into action when four strange fairies show up at his apartment. They claim that the secret to attracting men is to become the twinkiest twink.





	The Fabulous Four Present: How to be a Twink

**Author's Note:**

> Ichirou, Yuuki, Satoshi, and Zero all have their Initial'L look in this story. I decided to keep Hiyuu's Lycaon look because I really liked it when he had his cool purple hair.
> 
> Yeah, believe it or not, most of this was written at my workplace when managers weren't around (lol). This fic is total crap, but I hope you like it!
> 
> The idea for this fanfic is based on the reality TV series Queer Eye.

“I just don’t get it!” Yuuki exclaimed in frustration out loud to himself, kicking his shoes off of his feet at the front door of his apartment, “I’m gay as hell, but I only attract females!” 

Life was hard. As hard as his mighty fist. Yuuki punched the wall, creating a small crack in it as he thought about and recounted his day. 

He was at the only gay bar in the prefecture, looking to get lucky with some cute guy he was eyeing. But when he approached the guy and started talking to him, this major cutie excused himself in the middle of the conversation and then literally never came back!  He was so upset about it, he left the bar soon afterwards. Having all of his hopes crushed was tough. What made it worse, though, was that when he was walking back home, he got approached by a group of girls trying to hit on him. Fuck off, he wanted to say to them. I only like dick, not your ugly axe wounds. 

Grumbling some rather colourful curse words, Yuuki threw himself onto the nearby couch. 

“Why can’t other guys like me?! I want dick so badly!” He yelled, as if someone could hear him. Giving up when there was no answer, he sighed. His hand slowly wandered across his body and then found his crotch. Soon enough, he was playing with his own male parts for a bit out of pure frustration. He could not reach the peak at this point, with his emotions in turmoil like this. He could only wish, so he eventually abandonned ship and then took a really depressing nap. 

\--

Yuuki bolted up awake to the sound of something crashing onto the floor of his apartment. It was so loud and sharp, his heart almost leapt out his chest. 

He whipped his head towards the sound. Confusion overwhelmed him when his eyes landed on a ceramic plate, shattered into many sharp pieces. How could a plate fall down from the cabinet that it was in? There was literally nobody here but himself! 

Yuuki decided to investigate a little. He got up from his couch, dragging his bare feet to the crime scene. He inspected everything, opened up every drawer and cabinet, looked around some of the nearby rooms. Nope, nobody. Nothing. And so it was more than easy to brush this off at this point. Taking the broom out of the small closet, he swept up the mess. 

His stomach growled and grumbled the whole time he swept. Man, was he hungry! He needed to eat something. 

Yuuki went to reach for the usual protein shake he always put in the fridge the day before, when suddenly, an invisible force smacked his arm away. 

“What the hell?!” He yelled, looking around him before trying to grab the drink again. His arm got pushed away once more, this time more strongly. Nobody was there, he couldn’t even properly defend himself! Everyone knew that Yuuki could beat the shit out of someone when he needed to. 

“Stop drinking protein drinks!” A clear voice suddenly scolded, from right beside him. 

“Shut up!” A different voice, this time from behind him, sounded, “You just blew our cover!” 

“Oh, come on! We were gonna reveal ourselves at some point. No more spying— it’s bad for the eyes.” 

“As bad for the eyes as carrots! I think all of this spying has inspired me.” 

“I’ll shove carrots in both of you guys’ eyes if you two keep arguing like an old married couple!”

If this were a cartoon, Yuuki would have question marks all around him right now. He didn’t know what to think of all of this bickering....from invisible sources. Was he going mad?? Maybe somebody spiked his drinks with some sort of witchcraft shit. Yeah, probably. 

That’s what he wanted to believe, but all of a sudden, he couldn’t anymore. Out of thin air, four very real male human beings slowly materialized right in front of him...from the kitchen trash, interestingly. Guess they needed some kind of matter to be able to materialize. 

But...holy bag of dicks! The trash men were all looking at him. His face heated up, with a sudden wave of timidness from being the center of attention. 

The red-haired one, whom was wearing glasses and a top hat, was smiling wide. 

“Nice to finally meet you after all this ghosting around! My name is Satoshi. And we...” he gestured to the three other men, “...like to call ourselves the Fabulous Four!” 

Yuuki’s left eye twitched. 

“I’m Ichirou,” the curly raven-haired one introduced himself, “I sincerely appologize in advance for these three _idiots_.” He turned to them all, trying his best to emphasize the fact that they were all morons. 

The other black-haired one, whom was actually rather attractive, walked right up to Yuuki with a smile so bright that it could kill. He held his hand out for a handshake. He was rather energetic, though, and so the handshake ended up being as vigorous as a Donald Trump handshake. The fact that the hand didn’t pass through him was scary, because that meant that these people were indeed real and intruding his home. 

“Hi, my name is Zero!” The weird handshake man introduced himself cheerfully, “You smell like absolute, utterly disgusting desperation. It’s really off-putting. But we can fix that!” 

Yuuki frowned. At that very moment, he couldn’t help but roundhouse kick Zero in the chest for that comment. He always took things personally, and let his aggressive testosterone take the lead of his actions. 

“Ow!! @$&##%#%!!*$&!!” _(The words Zero uses to curse are always so terribly awful, criminal, and offensive that I simply cannot ever include them in this fanfiction. I might just get arrested if I did!)_

Yuuki froze at the kind of things that were sputtering out of the hurt man’s mouth. He did not expect such vulgar things! He very soon regretted his decision to kick him. The whole group fell silent for a bit, until the last one to introduce themselves finally broke it. Awkwardly, though.

“Umm...hi. Hiyuu’s the name.” 

God, this one was also really attractive. And his purple hair stood out, in a good way. Both those guys were actually cuter than the guy from earlier in the bar! 

Wait a minute...were those wings on their backs?? He couldn’t believe he didn’t realize it before, but each of them had brightly coloured fairy wings sprouting from their backs! 

“...What are you guys?” He asked with a bit of hesitation, glancing at every one of them. 

Satoshi took the lead again, pulling out a paper from his pocket and reading it. “Greetings! We are the Fabulous Four. Our mission is to help the most desperate people obtain their wish by giving them a life-changing makeover and offering high quality coaching. We-“

“That’s not what I meant,” Yuuki butt in. Interesting information, though. So apparently they were some kind of ‘make your life better’ gimmick. Hm. What a bunch of bullshit. 

Hiyuu seemed to understand exactly what Yuuki wanted to know. He thankfully stepped in, “We are fairies. We come from a different dimension, where our paying job is to travel here to help humans like you. Us fairies look and act almost exactly like you humans. All that folklore about us being tiny is a myth.” 

“Oh, I’m so excited!” Zero rapidly clapped his hands, “You’re gonna be so much less of a desperate hurricane disaster gay whore when we’re done with you!”

That earned a good ol’ punch in the stomach from Yuuki’s mighty fist. 

“@&$!%#%#*^!?*%#!@@!$*#%?!”

The room fell silent again. Discomfort and despair painted the face of every individual aside from Zero. Yuuki could only pray to the gods for forgiveness at this point. 

“So...” Ichirou thankfully broke the ice after a big pause, “Do you accept help from the Fabulous Four? I promise that we have only the best intentions for you, and that we will grant your wish of attracting more gay and dominant men into your life.” 

Yuuki thought about it for a bit. He thought about just how frustrated he was with his love and sex life, and how nothing seemed to be working. Thinking about it only brought back these hopeless feelings, more powerful than ever. He didn’t know if he could deal with it anymore, honestly. He was tired of going to bed alone, and tired of being constantly chased by girls. 

“What do I have to lose at this point?” He found himself saying to the group, agreeing. 

The four fairies all cheered in unison, high-fiving each other. They were all so happy and excited, it made Yuuki wonder what exactly they were going to do to him. 

“So, um...what will you be doing to me?” 

They exchanged happy glances, and then shouted in unison: “HOW TO BE A TWINK! Twink 101! Woooo!”

....Oh, god. What had Yuuki gotten himself into??

—

 

**~Meetup with Satoshi the Fashion fairy~**

 

Yuuki sighed helplessly as the red-haired man rummaged through the wardrobe in his bedroom. He was grabbing every piece of clothing he owned from the rack and then throwing them all onto the carpet flooring! 

“Crap, crap...also crap. Too manly. Too...wait, what even is this??” Satoshi pulled out a big, huge, long, embarassing......pastel cat plushie from behind all the clothing. 

Yuuki’s eyes widened. “Oh! Sorry, I just really like cats and one day I saw this at a fair and-“ 

“No need to explain!” Satoshi cut in, “This is perfect for twinks! We’re keeping your cat plush out in your room from now on.” 

Satoshi continued to chuck things everywhere, until the closet was completely empty. 

“Well, that’s that. You don’t own a single piece of clothing that screams ‘I’m a twink’. That, sir, is a problem! And what the hell are you even wearing right now??”

Yuuki looked down at himself, seeing nothing wrong with his outfit. A white tank top that showed off his muscles, some baggy camo thug shorts, no socks, a backwards hat. 

“You look too manly right now! You gotta look more like a cinnamon bun. You have the perfect twink body— you’re a smol gnome man, aside from the muscles. But you wear stuff that makes you look like a white fuckboy wannabe.” 

At those last few words, Yuuki almost shoved his foot up Satoshi’s ass. Send him flying straight out of the ceiling and out of earth’s atmosphere, never to criticize anyone ever again. But he successfully refrained, somehow.

“Why do you guys want me to become a twink so much?” He wondered in a rather whiny voice, currently unable to comprehend their decisions.

Satoshi laughed. “Honey, everyone knows that twinks get the most attention. And the most dick! Right now, you’re sending off manly man vibes, which is a huge magnet for most female energy. But be a cute twink boi, and you’ll have all the males chasing after you! Everyone loves a good twink.” 

Yuuki was nothing but confused and offended right now. He had always thought that his clothes were attractive on him. But before he could say anything to argue, Satoshi grabbed his arm, and then started to drag him towards the front door of the apartment. 

“Wait! Where are we going??”

The other man got all giddy at this question, and suddenly he was throwing glitter everywhere. 

“To H&M! The gayest place on earth!” 

Where did all that glitter come from??

......

Yuuki was uncomfortable, staring at his own reflection in the mirror of the dressing room. 

A salmon pink t-shirt, with a pair of faded blue skinny jeans, and a white plaid scarf around his neck. Who wears this type of stuff? This looked like the most generic gay shit ever. He would look better in a potato bag, he thought. Or naked. Yeah, he’d look a lot better naked. And moaning underneath someone. 

His thoughts suddenly turned to what Satoshi said earlier— how guys would be all over him like this— and he felt like he should comply. He really  was desperate for men. Maybe he did look better without any clothes on, but in order to have guys see his naked body in the first place, he had to first of all wear this generic gay shit. 

Every time he came out of the dressing room with one of Satoshi’s outfit choices, he got a thumbs up from him in approval. 

“You look good! Super twink-ish! Yeah, I’d totally hit that!” 

That one  last comment made Yuuki choke on his own saliva. 

“Ehh?! But I think this all looks like absolute garbage!"

Satoshi's smile never faltered when he said, "Everything looks like garbage to an uncultured trash can fashionista like you." He then immediately covered his mouth, realizing what he said. "I'm really sorry, I think Zero has gotten into my head! I just really like and respect this store, you know. You'll get used to this type of clothes, eventually!"

Yuuki pretended that he didn't hear that one insult. The last thing he needed was to get into a full-blown fist fight in public. Anyways...he could probably live with this new style. How bad was it, really?

 

—-

 

**-Meetup with Ichirou the Food and Exercise fairy-**

 

Yuuki was drinking a protein shake after his rough morning with Satoshi the fucked-up fashion glitter fairy. It was pretty tasty— packed with a chocolatey protein powder and a few frozen strawberries, too. He also had a plate of red steak slices in front of him, perfectly seasoned with some sort of weird maple seasoning. He didn’t have the energy to eat it properly with a fork, so he just used his hands like a beast. 

He was almost done his meal, when all of a sudden, his plate lifted off of the table. Yuuki’s eyebrows furrowed at this sight— not quite a new thing since he first met these fairies, but still a bit crazy. It floated in mid-air for a bit, until it lifted higher and higher, above his head. He looked up, and when he did so, the plate flipped over to drop all the meat on top of him. 

“Ack!”, Yuuki yelped, “Are you kidding me?!”

He tried to pick up the steak pieces off of him and from the floor. His peripheral vision caught another movement, and he turned his head to see his shake quickly lifting off, too. This time more hastily, the cool liquid chucked itself all over him. 

“What the fuck?!”

Immature laughter exploded from across him, and suddenly Ichiriou appeared out of thin air. Yuuki was shocked to see him— he hadn’t expected it to be Ichirou. Wasn’t he the one who called the others a bunch of idiots? 

Whatever. Yuuki was angry as hell. His hands subconciously balled up into tight fists. 

“Hahah! You should have seen your face!” Ichirou joked. 

Silence was the reply, accompanied by the twitching of an eye. Yuuki’s aggressive and negative emotions were always obvious. The raven-haired man didn’t even have to look, actually; he could easily sense darkness around him at that moment. And it was awful. It was terrifying. _Yuuki_ was terrifying. 

Abruptly, Ichirou went back to his totally proffessional and mature composure. 

He cleared his throat, “I am so sorry about that. I think these idiots might have influenced me. Here, let me fix that.” 

He held out his hand. Glitter shot right out of it like magic, engulfing Yuuki in a glitter cloud. He pretty coughed his lungs out breathing that in, but in the end when all the glitter cleared up, he was as clean as ever. Like the mess never happened. He took a deep breath, calming himself down. 

“Thanks,” he muttered to the fairy, stubbornly, and not very audibly. “So why the hell are you here?” He questioned, much more clearly and loudly. 

“I...” Ichirou started with a smile, circling Yuuki around the round dining table, “...am your personal food and exercise coach!” He carelessly flailed his arms up very excitedly while saying this, and accidentally smacked Yuuki in the face. 

Yuuki didn’t flinch or budge ‘cause he was such a tough guy— he ignored it like it just never happened, as if Ichirou had fly legs for arms. Instead, his ears perked up at the words the other had mentioned. Food and exercise were two of his favourite things! Maybe, just maybe this fairy won’t be as annoying as the last one. 

Ichirou walked towards the fridge to snoop around it. After about a minute of looking through the fridge, Ichirou was already so done with everything. In this gnome man’s fridge was all sorts of healthy things. Vegetables, meats, yogurt, fruits. Honestly, what a disaster! 

He turned back towards Yuuki, whom was patiently waiting at the table, looking a little excited. 

“So, what do you think of my diet?” He eagerly asked with a shiny white smile, “Pretty healthy, isn’t it?” 

“Get rid of it.” Ichirou sternly ordered.

The smaller man almost jumped out of his seat at this statement. “Excuse me?!” He couldn’t believe his ears.

Ichirou started to take everything out of the fridge and cabinets, throwing them all on the counter to sort through. 

“Everything in here is too damn healthy and hearty! No wonder you’ve got such a fit body. Look at all those meats you eat and shakes you drink— you’re a protein junkie! All of that has to go if you want to be a desirable twink!” 

When he started to take out all the precious meats, Yuuki couldn’t help but get up and run towards him. 

“Don’t touch those, you prick! They’re mine!” 

Ichirou ignored the small man, whom was about ready to beat him up. But Ichirou himself was pretty strong— he could probably take it. He seperated everything into a good and bad pile, and when he was done sorting it, he explained the situation to Yuuki. 

“This pile here is all the stuff that has to go,” he pointed towards the heap of broccoli, sliced ham, chicken legs, cheese, yogurt, eggs, apples, protein powder, etc. Basically over half of the fridge.

He then gestured to the other pile, which had very little in it. “This pile is stuff you can keep.” 

Pickles, bananas, cucumbers, baby carrots.

“That’s all?!” Yuuki yelled in disbelief. That’s when he noticed that all these food items had something in similar. Before he spoke up about the similarity, Ichirou stole the words right out of his mouth. 

“Yep! These are all dick-shaped foods, you see. I want you to be eating dick-shaped foods often, excluding sausages because you don’t need any more high protein foods. I think maybe if you ate enough dick-shaped stuff, your whole aura would become that of a really gay twink’s.” He paused. “In addition to that, I have a little something that I want you to be eating _daily_.” 

Yuuki’s eye twitched again in disbelief. “Might as well be eating dildos instead. But, go on.” 

Ichirou laughed a bit at Yuuki’s hopeless joke, and then puffed out another glitter cloud, this time from his mouth. When the glitter shower cleared up, a couple of boxes showed up on the counter. 

“What are those??” Yuuki curiously asked. The packaging was all written in English, and he had really bad Engrishu, so he courdento riidu oru understandu what da purodukuto was.

“These are called Twinkies,” the fairy got all excited talking about them, “They’re from the Americas. Twinkies are guaranteed to turn you into a twink— I mean, just look at their name! Not only are they also deliciously shaped like a dick, but they are really sugary and fattening. Eat enough of them, and they will totally destroy those manly muscles of yours!”

Yuuki’s eyes widened; he felt sudden fear and anger build up in his stomach. “But I worked so hard for these muscles!” It was true. He was a gym rat whom ate healthy 90% of the time. God knows how much sweat he had to pour out to get this strong and fit.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you don’t become overweight— I just want you to have less build. If you wanna be a twink that gets dick all the time, you gotta compromise. Now please, eat at least two of these a day. Your gay twink aura will intensify even more so if you also deep-throat them while you’re at it. I’ll be watching you to make sure!” 

Yuuki groaned in pain. Emotional pain. A big part of him didn’t want to let go of his egotistical build, but another huge part of him was an addict who just wanted to get picked up and fucked by every cute guy he saw. 

Being himself was hard. 

But looking more deeply into himself, he realized that the option that would bring him the most happiness was to become the biggest guy magnet. Yep. And so, he was up for the task that this fairy gave him. 

“I’ll...do my best, I guess,” he said, amazed at himself for being this accepting for once. 

This made Ichirou smile. “Great! Now as for the exercise part of my job, that’s easy. I’ve seen you do HIIT workouts all over the place.” 

“That’s right, I do one daily!” Yuuki said with pride, showing off his muscles.

“Ok, I need you to stop the daily HIIT workouts, and instead do a daily workout that focuses completely on your glutes. Your ass is important. You want it to really stand out, and be perkier and fuller than any other part of your body. The twinks who have the nicest ass are the twinks who get the most _dick_!” 

This task was the easiest. He loved to exercise, and was just glad that he still got to workout in some way. And it made sense, honestly. If he wanted a dick shoved up in there, he better have the nicest ass on the block! 

The food part...well, he’d just have to get used to it. Opening one of the confusing Engurishu snaku boxes, he took a Twinkie out, unwrapped it, and then made sure to deep-throat it before completely eating it. He did this right in front of Ichirou, whom couldn’t help but be wide-eyed at the sight of a man taking it whole without gagging. Damn, that Yuuki guy really would make the perfect twink! 

—

 

**-Meetup with Zero the Hair & Makeup fairy- **

 

Yuuki was pretty hesitant to enter the beauty salon. That one really attractive yet oh-so rude fairy asked him to meet him there after closing hours so that it would be completely in private. Apparently Zero had teleported inside the salon and then unlocked the door for Yuuki. Well, since he went through all that trouble...

Yuuki took a breath, and then opened the salon doors. Instantly, the strong scent of fruity shampoos and conditioners filled his nostrils. Ack! It was too much! He looked at Zero with squinty eyes, whom was eagerly waiting at one of the stations at the salon. 

“What’s with this box of fruitloops scent?!” 

A mischevious chuckle escaped the raven-haired lips. “We’re at a women’s salon, what do you expect?” 

“Ehh?!” 

A women’s salon?! That explains all the girly lolita decor. Yuuki had never stepped inside one of these before! It was like a foreign country to him. 

“Get up here, my favourite gay. I can smell you all the way from here, and it’s not appealing!” The fairy insulted him, patting the black salon chair that was in front of a large mirror and counter. 

Yuuki rolled his eyes, already too used to this verbal abuse. Knowing that he couldn’t refuse at this point, he approached the salon chair. It was unfortunately really high up. And Yuuki was a shorty short shortcake shorty short even-shorter-than-Ruki gremlin man. He tried to tippie-toe to get on it, but failed to no avail. 

As he was struggling, Zero was laughing. Mockingly. Meaning that this was probably all his idea. 

“Zero! What the fuck?!” Yuuki whined to him, like a child. 

“Hahahah! It’s adjustable, asshat! And who knew that it could go up that high!” 

The short man groaned in frustration. Why did such an attractive man like Zero have to be this way? He was so mean! Are they sure they were fairies and not pixies? Because they sure liked to joke around and pull pranks. 

The “fairy” was too busy mocking him to help, so Yuuki knelt down and found the adjustment button himself on the chair’s pole. He brought the seat down to a good height for him, and then finally sat down onto it. He looked at himself in the large mirror in front of him. He thought he looked not that bad, but he could probably use some instagram filters. 

“Ookayy!” Zero energetically started, looking at Yuuki through the mirror, “First of all, what kind of piece of shit styled your hair like _that_? You look like you smashed a bunch of chicken eggs on your head."

Yuuki frowned. It was himself who did it, but he didn’t want to admit it. His bangs were hidden, pushed back with a crap ton of sticky hair gel. He used quite a lot of gel daily, actually, which was kind of getting to be expensive. 

“We’re going to wash all that gel off. With my own special blend of pomegranate + mint scented shampoo! Trust me on this one, it’ll be great! Better than your usual, boring unscented shampoo.”

“Pomegranate and mint? Why?” 

Zero started to roll the salon chair over to the hair-washing sink area. 

“You get the best of both worlds! Pomegranate is one of the sacred symbols of the desire, love, and beauty goddess Aphrodite. That sounds like something you’re looking for,” He paused, bringing the chair up so that Yuuki’s neck was the same height as the sink, “Pomegranate will also bring in a subtle more girly scent. The mint will bring in a subtle more boyish scent. _Et voilà, mon cheri!_ You become a sex god twink boi who gives off both a feminine and masculine appeal. A literal sex bomb for most of the gays in this area!” 

Yuuki hummed. That was the first thing that Zero had ever said that actually sounded somewhat intelligent. Applause for him. 

The fairy got Yuuki to lower his neck down to the sink. He started to wash Yuuki’s dyed light brown hair, making sure to get to all of that horrible hair gel. The warm water felt nice, along with the powerful stream of the showerhead. Zero’s fingers were pretty much massaging his scalp, too. 

Then came the scent...the almighty, glorified scent of subtle mint and fruity pomegranate. Amazingly, Yuuki thought that it actually smelled pretty good. He couldn’t believe he was the one who was going to smell that way, though. 

When they were done with the hair-washing, Zero rolled Yuuki back over to the large mirror, where he pulled out the blowdryer and a few combs from the drawer. Hot air blew onto his hair on full-blast, making him look like an evil mad scientist who steals candy from children for a bit. But then Zero combed it out, and as he did so, he loudly gasped. 

“What?” Yuuki asked.

Zero smiled bigger and wider than ever with his teeth, “Your natural bangs are already so kawaii desu!! You almost look like a kawaii desu schoolgirl desu!! Aaah!! You perfect little gay kakkoi senpai kawaii chiisai cinnamon roll sama!!” 

????? What kind of broken af Japanese was Zero speaking?? Yuuki didn’t understand a single word the man just said, especially since he was saying it all in a high-pitched squealy fanboy voice. Also, did he of all people just compliment him?? 

“We don’t need to do anything special with your hair, you cute little penis-loving cutiepie. You’ve got the perfect twink bangs already. Just don’t ever gel them up ever again like a lil asshole, or I’ll call the hair abuse department on you!” 

 

Okay. Yuuki could probably live with that. It’s not like he was ashamed of his so-called “twink bangs”, anyways. He just didn’t like them getting in his face. Better get used to them now,  because with Zero’s unexpected and flattering reaction, Yuuki already felt a little more attractive. 

 

It was skincare and makeup time. 

“What the _fuck_? Forget about a skincare routine, your skin is already fucking flawless, like the perfect twink! _Damn_ , I never realized all your good features until now.” Zero admitted in awe. So he was suddenly nice now, huh? “But we could still use a bit of enhancements. Here, let me take a good look at your face before we do anything.” 

Zero leaned in, pretty damn close to Yuuki’s face. He couldn’t help but blush in embarassment and avoid eye contact as the fairy analyzed every part of his face in depth. His heart raced. 

“Mhm. Mhmm.” The stylist hummed, looking a bit uncertain and pausing before finally placing his lips onto Yuuki’s. 

!!!!

Yuuki jumped, subconciously pushing Zero away in shock. He looked at the fairy with both confusion and surprise. 

“Ahah! Just as I thought!” Zero exclaimed after the brief kiss, seeming to ignore completely the severity of what he just did, “You have the perfect dick-sucking lips!” 

“Huh??” The shorter man almost thought he heard something else, with how crazy that statement was.

“Perfectly shaped for male oral pleasure! Then, we’ll definitely need to bring out those lips of yours.” 

As Zero rummaged through some drawers, Yuuki looked into the mirror at his own lips. He didn’t know what was so special about them. He had a fuller top lip, and a thinner bottom lip. That was all. How could lips be made to suck dicks?? He just didn’t get it! 

Zero broke his bubble of racing thoughts when he started to apply a lip gloss on his lips. It was light pink— just a bit darker than his natural lip colour, but not enough to look like he was wearing any makeup. It added a glossy shine, too. 

“Apply this lip gloss every time you go out! You don’t need any more makeup than that. Maybe a little dark brown eyeliner is okay, but keep in mind that we really want your dick-sucking lips to pop! That way all the guys who look at you will know that they want you in bed.” 

Yuuki touched his lips, curious to what they felt like. They were just a little wet and sticky, but it will probably dry in a short amount of time.

“Touch your lips all you want. This lip gloss is long-lasting. That means you can suck as many dicks as you want in a day, and still look super hot afterwards!” 

Zero leaned into his ear before Yuuki could reply, and then whispered, “Want to test out that theory right now? Hmm?” 

Yuuki’s heart jumped out of his ribcage with a sudden rush of adrenaline and anxiety. 

“What?!” 

“Hahahah! Just kidding!” 

Yuuki breathed out a sigh of relief, blushing madly like a fool. God, what a fucking _prick_ Zero was! 

—

 

**-Meetup with Hiyuu the Sex and Life Advice fairy- NSFW !!**

 

Yuuki was back in his apartment, feeling a little bit exhausted from the whole day of running around with the Fabulous Four. Although it was dark out, he knew he still had one more of those creatures to deal with. Hiyuu, the other really attractive one. 

But for now, he’d just take a nap. 

Or not.

As soon as he entered his bedroom, he saw Hiyuu casually sitting down on his bed like he owned the place. As soon as he saw Yuuki, his face lit up. 

“Hey, how ya doing? Come here, sit with me.” He patted on the spot next to him. 

Yuuki stalled for a bit, mostly because he didn’t know if he could handle one more fairy today, but then eventually went to go sit down on his cozy bed with Hiyuu. 

“So, Yuuki,” he started, turning his gaze towards the shorter man, “My job expects me to completely change the way you live your life, but I think that’s pretty unfair. So I’m just going to give you some advice, and I don’t expect you to listen to any of it.” 

Yuuki sighed in relief, feeling his tense muscles finally loosen up at these words. He’d been stressed out going into here, but now realized that he really shouldn’t be. 

“My first piece of advice is something important to try to do to in your life be the most successful twink. And that is...” he paused, bringing up the suspense, “...to shove every single other twink you pass by into the nearest trash can!” 

?????

“What?! Why should I do something like that?!” 

“Simply put, ‘There’s only room for one twink boi in this town!’ You wanna be the best, you gotta shove the rest into trash cans. That’s the way to live life! That’s the key to everything in life!” 

Back to feeling all tense. The pain in his neck returned, signaling that he was feeling stressed out again. The thought of pushing people into trash cans was terrible! 

“Oh, no, baby, don’t feel so tense,” Hiyuu cooed, “You don’t have to do this. I just strongly suggest that you do.” 

As Hiyuu gently said this, he went in to massage Yuuki’s neck and shoulders. The shorter man was quick to accept this sudden move. It felt really good, to be able to relax for a moment, and to be touched by someone else. He let himself sink into the feeling, into the other man’s warm touch. 

“Yuuki, now that you’re a little more relaxed, let’s talk about your sex hormones.” He suggested, still massaging the other man, moving onto a different body part. 

“Okay,” Yuuki found himself agreeing, too focused on the great massage to be protesting. 

“Honey, you’ve got a whole lot of testosterone. You know that, right?” 

Yuuki thought about it for a bit, and then nodded, thinking back to his countless angry, aggressive, and rough moments. “Yeah, I guess I do.” 

Hiyuu’s hands moved to a specific spot on his upper back that caused Yuuki to let out a small moan. “Mmmn, right there...”

“There’s a huge knot here in your back. Feels good when I do this?” 

“Yeah...Feels good...” Yuuki parted his full, glossy lips into a sigh.

Hiyuu applied more pressure to that one area, until he felt the knot loosen up completely. He moved down to his lower back. 

“Anyways, you want to try to cancel out a bit of that testosterone with some extra oestrogen. Twinks simply can’t be rough and aggressive all the time. I suggest that you talk with Ichirou about ways you can incorporate more oestrogen-rich foods into your diet. Also, if you need to beat stuff up, please make sure to do so in private. And try your best to be more concious of your aggressive feelings, so that you can let go of them more easily. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Yuuki was quick to agree again, literally melting onto Hiyuu. God, he felt so lucky to be massaged by a man so pretty, and who had hands of a literal god.

“This next questions I’m about to ask you may be personal, but this kind of stuff is important in the journey of becoming an irresistable twink.” Hiyuu warned, with the softest voice ever. 

Man, he was always so soft, so sweet, so gentle...

“Yuuki, do you masturbate?” 

What?! Anxiety shot through Yuuki’s body like a bullet. He held his breath. 

“.....” He stayed silent for a bit, feeling more than embarassed about this question. 

“Take your time. But just know that this is important for me to know.” 

Oh, god. Should he admit it? God. He should, he had to, he had no choice, no shame, no going back...

“...Yeah, I do masturbate.” Phew! That was a relief to finally get out. 

Hiyuu nodded, staying indifferent yet gentle. “And how do you like to masturbate? Do you like having things inside you at all? 

“...Yeah, I don’t know if any of you picked this up from me, but I really do like it in the ass.” 

Hiyuu smiled. “Okay, then we’re already on the right path! Twinks need to be open to bottoming. Make sure that you’re absolutely comfortable with having things up there.” 

Hiyuu stopped the massage, instead slowly trailing his fingers down Yuuki’s arm. A chill was sent down the smaller man’s spine. The purple-haired fairy leaned into Yuuki’s neck, breathing in his scent. 

“Hiyuu...? What are you doing...?” 

“Become the perfect twink in bed, and not only will you attract more men, but you’ll have them keep coming back to you...That’s what you desire, right? To be the thing that men desire the most?” 

Yuuki gulped, and then nodded, his heart speeding up real fast. He really did want guys falling for him all over. 

Hiyuu leaned into his ear, “I’m the sex fairy, you know. But the only way I can truly give you advice on the sex part, is if I see what you’re like when you’re having sex...” 

Of course, Hiyuu was stretching the truth a bit this whole time. He didn’t _have_ to see Yuuki in action to give him proper sex advice. He didn’t even need to ask those personal questions. But he was gay himself, and highly driven by sex, and lately he’d found Yuuki to be quite irresistable for some reason. He gently wrapped his arms around the smaller man from behind. “You know what I want to do to you. Do you want it?” 

Yuuki held his breath. Oh, man, was this pretty, pretty man really offering him sex? The one thing that Yuuki had felt like he was lacking in his life? Maybe all this twink training was working, because nobody had even bothered to look at him before all of this!

“Yes, I want it. I’ve been wanting it so badly for so long!” Yuuki found himself automatically replying, the warmth of Hiyuu’s hold making him that much more desperate. 

“Are you sure?” Hiyuu slowly slid one of his hands down to Yuuki’s crotch, rubbing it lightly through the fabric of his jeans. 

Yuuki moaned desperately, feeling his pants becoming tighter, “Yes. I want it. I want your dick.” 

“Do you, now?” 

“Yes!”

“You know, Zero told me a little something about you. That you’re really great at giving head.”

Oh, fuck, was Yuuki actually going to be able to have dick right now? His body filled with excitement. “God, Hiyuu, I’d gladly stuff my face with your dick.” 

 

It got hot real fast. The two lustful men jumped onto each other, roughly making out passionately on the bed, feeling each other’s bodies. While they were exploring each other’s wet mouths, they were quickly taking off each other’s clothes. Panting in lust, Yuuki trailed down Hiyuu’s thin body with his mouth, planting soft kisses anywhere he could, until he reached the man’s pelvic area. Here, he ran his hands through Hiyuu’s beautifully soft inner thighs, massaging it for a bit. He looked up at Hiyuu, whose expression said it all. He was eager. Really eager. His cheeks were red hot like a tomato, and his eyes were piercing Yuuki’s with great intensity. 

“You look a little too eager to just be coaching me. Did you plan this?” Yuuki was quite suspicious. 

“Maybe I did,” Hiyuu replied, unwilling to admit that he just wanted to get into Yuuki’s pants, “Now get to work. My coaching isn’t free!” 

Yuuki rolled his eyes at the last comment. But, he was always really happy to suck dick. Gladly, Yuuki finally grabbed Hiyuu’s impressive length. Leaning in, he immediately starting teasing the head of it with his tongue. 

This ellicited a long, pleased moan from the man. “Ohh, Yuuki...yes...” The warm wetness of his tongue on his hard flesh was irresistable. 

He kept flicking his tongue all over, but nothing more than that. Soon enough, a hand was grabbing onto his hair, signifying that Hiyuu was frustrated enough with all the teasing. 

“Impatient, are you?” 

Hiyuu was blushing, and so was Yuuki. Normally he’d tease his partner some more, but the smaller man had actually wanted this thing so bad, he couldn’t help but immediately give in at that point. Completely wrapping his plump lips around it, he took him all in, deep into his throat. It already felt so amazing to be giving oral like this.

Another second, and then Yuuki was bobbing his head up and down really fast. And really hard. He was giving it his all, carelessly going all over Hiyuu’s length like a beast. 

Hiyuu seemed to be enjoying it a lot, moaning over and over, and subconciously pulling on the smaller man’s hair. Yuuki was enjoying it, too. He loved and missed dick way too much not to. It felt so damn great to have his mouth filled like this, he ended up moaning blissfully as well at one point. The vibrations of his voice on him only heigtened Hiyuu’s pleasure.

Apparently, he really was good at giving oral. Hiyuu loved it so much, he pre-came, right into Yuuki’s mouth. 

“God, you suck dick like such a little wanton twink. I approve of it.”

Yuuki licked the pre-cum off of his lips, and then wiped off some of the saliva dribbling down his chin. 

“Do I still have lipgloss on my lips?” He asked his current sexual partner, thinking that he was tasting something rather fruity. 

“Yep!” Hiyuu replied. 

So it was true, then. Even after he sucked dick, he still had the lipgloss on. What a miracle product. 

 

They really did end up fucking each other. Once Hiyuu lubed him up and entered him, Yuuki lost the world around him. It had been too long since he’d been used like this. He loved to bottom so much. He was panting, moaning, writhing happily underneath a pretty man who definitely knew what he was doing.  Thrusting so hard inside his tight warmth, he thought he’d pass out. Reaching his prostate almost immediately so that he could feel absolutely fucking amazing. Hiyuu taking Yuuki’s length into his hand for added pleasure. They felt so close to each other, it was impossible not to feel all fuzzy, happy, and warm. 

At one point, Yuuki rode Hiyuu like a bronco, holding onto the taller man as he slid up and down fast, literally almost crying in bliss. This was when both of the men finally cummed, with almost animalistic sounds of pleasure. Hiyuu shot out a load of glittery white cum, which was... interesting? Yuuki tried to ignore it, and it was easy to ignore because he was currently in heaven. Literal heaven. Yuuki swore that he had never felt this good in his entire life. He had an addiction, and this addiction had finally just been fed. 

Panting and collapsing onto the bed, the two gently madeout with each other one last time until they finally fell asleep together, completely exhausted and satisfied. 

 

The next day, Yuuki woke up feeling like a changed man. He turned to see an empty spot on the bed— Hiyuu had left. And good thing, because Yuuki did not usually want to talk to one-night-stands right after sexual intercourse. 

 

As the shorter man started waking up a bit more, he realized that it kind of smelled like...someone was cooking something?? The smell of delicious food of some kind filled his entire bedroom. Getting up and putting on some of the H&M clothes previously suggested by Satoshi, Yuuki walked into the kitchen to investigate, his stomach grumbling. 

 

“Hey, look! Our changed man is awake!” Satoshi exclaimed, making Yuuki jump a little. 

He did not expect there to be so many faces in his kitchen at this time. But there every member of the Fabulous Four was, gathered around the kitchen. Satoshi was washing dishes, Ichirou was placing the finishing touches on a delicious-looking chocolate cake, Zero was doing nothing but sitting down at the table, and Hiyuu-

Oh, god, Hiyuu was there. Standing around in the corner, smiling wide when he noticed Yuuki awake. Oof. A wave of dread washed over him. He did not want to talk to that fairy right now. But he knew it was inevitable, especially when Hiyuu started to walk  over towards him. 

“Yuuki, our favourite human! How are you?” He cheered, placing his hand on the man’s shoulder as if nothing happened between them, “We baked a cake to celebrate our hard work and the start of your new day as a new man.”

“We can’t wait to see what these changes will bring you!” Ichirou added in, placing the last strawberry on the dessert. “Of course they won’t be immediate, but we are patient. We’ll be watching over you for a while to make sure that your wish has been granted. Hope you don’t mind us going in and out of your apartment every now and then!” 

Yuuki smiled weakly. He did mind a bit, but why should he be complaining when these men were all working so hard to help him out? 

He realized that Hiyuu still had his hand on Yuuki’s shoulder. The short man’s heart skipped a beat when the man suddenly leaned into his ear to whisper, “Hope you had as much fun as I did last night. You were really, really good in bed. You acted like the perfect twink, actually. We should do that again sometime...” 

Yuuki’s cheeks started to burn really badly. He really didn’t know what to reply to that. He just helplessly stood there, looking down at the floor to avoid eye contact, letting Hiyuu overwhelm him with embarassed and timid emotions. 

“Hey, guys, the cake is ready,” Zero’s voice interrupted, approaching them, thankfully breaking some of the tension. 

Still. Yuuki just stood there— it seemed Hiyuu had pinned his feet to the ground. Nevertheless, Hiyuu smiled, taking initiative by grabbing Yuuki’s arm, and then leading them to the dining table. It didn’t take long for at all for Zero to pick up on what happened between the two. Not only was Hiyuu the sex fairy, but they both reeked of sex, and they were acting so strangely around each other. 

Like the asshole that he was, once they were all settled in and eating the delicious cake around the table, he turned to Yuuki whom was right next to him, keeping his voice low, “How’d you like getting fucked in the ass last night by Hiyuu?” 

Yuuki choked on his cake, his eyes widened as big as baseballs as he stared at Zero with disbelief. He had to sip his glass of milk to keep himself from dying right there on the spot. 

This only made Zero laugh mockingly, playfully hitting Yuuki on the shoulder. 

He was lucky that he had some twink training yesterday, or else he’d have to beat a bitch. And that bitch was Zero’s smiling, smug ass face. 

The rest of the meal went smoothly once Yuuki calmed himself down and silently forgave Zero. Everyone was smiling, chatting up a storm, cracking jokes, and laughing. It almost felt like a family. A family of messed up people, but still a family. 

Yeah, Yuuki could definitely deal with them for a while. 

 

**Short quick hyperactive epilogue:**

 

Yuuki ended up being able to get laid by every cute guy he saw! Yay!! The power of twink!!

Satoshi ended up designing some clothes for H&M! Yayy! Let’s just add to the store’s already overwhelming gayness!! Yayy! _(Btw I don’t actually hate on the store, I just like to make fun of everything ‘cause I have nothing better to do with my life)_

Ichirou realized his love for Twinkies and now eats a whole box of them every day!! Yayyy!! True love!!!

Zero never stopped being a little shady ass bitch!! Yayy!! He is slowly on his way to becoming a Bianca Del Rio 2.0!! 

The Fabulous Four always stayed in touch with Yuuki!! Yayyy!! 

The author of this fanfiction never got a life!! Yayy!! 

**Author's Note:**

> You better give me feedback on this story or I'll get fairy Zero to throw you shade all day. Lol just kidding, I love you all, and I really hope you liked this fanfic! Thank you so much for reading it! Kudos and comments are really appreciated, as they help motivate and inspire me to keep writing.  
> In all seriousness, this story was never supposed to be serious, lol. We all need a good ol’ unprofessional comedy fanfic every now and then!


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